Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
