But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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