Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
