Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
