don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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