we have officially lost it.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize