The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
