people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize