I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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