normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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