Are we in a gay sports bar?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The power of my boobs compel you
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
