Fine. I'll sleep in my office
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
