it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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