using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
