paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
