I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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