I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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