shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
