Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
