You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
