This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
