from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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