Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
