Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
