it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
