i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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