So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
