I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
