if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he puts the penis in happiness.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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