Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
