My Higher Power is John Stamos
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
