is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
