i just google imaged poop.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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