I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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