i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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