I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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