we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
