There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
