you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
