the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize