evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize