Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
