Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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