I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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