At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
