i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
