need another drink. this is the easiest way
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she smelled like a LAN party
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
