He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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