Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
