'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
