It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
