everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
