Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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