She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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