He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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