I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You are the jesus of drinking
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
