TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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