He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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