White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
