The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
