so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
