i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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