White coat. Heels.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
