ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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